“It’s just easier and faster for me to do it myself.” Does this sound familiar?
How about: “Everyone is so overloaded, I’m reluctant to ask.”
Or: “I really need this to be right, so I better do it.” I bet you’ve thought this a thousand times…
Here’s another: “I need help, but I can’t afford to look like I’m not on top of it, so I won’t ask.”
I hear these comments from clients all the time!
I’ve certainly been a victim of this thinking, and as a consequence, not asked for help.
Last week, a client declared: “I’m a martyr to my inability to ask for help!”
Her “martyrdom” is so deeply embedded from years of over-servicing both at work and at home that she had difficulties coming up with ideas to reverse the trend!
More importantly, she faces real fears about the possible consequences of asking for help, like:
-Creating conflict.
-Upsetting people.
-Not being liked.
-Letting people down.
-Being seen as uncooperative, not a team player.
-Being seen as weak or needy
At the same time, she’s doing a lot of stuff she doesn’t need or want to do!
Stuff that keeps her from doing more important stuff.
And from having much-needed personal time.
OK, sometimes asking for help isn’t the answer.
But I’m more concerned about missed opportunities, like:
-Giving staff the chance to step up to the plate, take on more responsibility, and grow professionally.
-Giving family members the chance to learn responsibility, learn skills, and feel needed.
-Giving others the chance to have the joy of giving.
-Giving yourself the chance to spend your time in more productive, rewarding ways.
-Giving yourself the chance to become healthier and happier!
Asking for help requires TRUST.
-Trusting you won’t lose credibility or esteem when you ask. (In fact, you might gain more respect!)
-Trusting you can stay firm in the face of potential resistance. Just make sure you offer sufficient guidance and resources to ensure your helper’s success.
-Trusting you can accept “good enough,” even though the result may not be perfect in your eyes.
What else do you need to trust to be able to ask for help?
What will asking for help open up for you?
I challenged my client with these questions.
I challenge you, too!
Seek an opportunity today to ask for help, especially if it’s help you’ve wanted for some time but avoided due to fear.
No more martyrdom!
Let me know if I can help YOU with this!
And let me know how it works out!
Martha