It was such a shock that it felt like a punch in the gut…do you know that feeling?
Here’s what happened:
When I returned from a month of visiting family in Germany over the holidays, I was met with a big change in my life. Within a week, I went back to being a single lady—not totally unexpected—but still a rupture in my life pattern that’s been tough to take.
This is the type of rupture that disorients you at first, but then you realize…maybe it’s truly meant to be.
And yes, even though I’m meeting this change with my best shot at acceptance, grief is still its own master!
Can you relate?
Past experience has taught me that I need to let the waves of sadness wash through. Let the questions and reassessments have their swirls. And catch the glimpses of light when they flicker through the dullness, reminding me to be patient. And that—with tender self-love and self-honesty—this too will soften and heal.
Still, no matter how well or not one may take it, rupture is not easy.
I’m seeing this a lot in my work with clients, too, as significant lay-offs and re-organizations continue to affect so many industries and businesses. It’s excruciating for those who are let go. Upsetting and disruptive for those who stay.
And as a society, WE’RE ALL struggling with rupture. Witness the soaring mental health statistics. Change is happening so fast, and it is taking its toll.
If we’re able to see and seize it, RUPTURE is a POWERFUL invitation to build our RESILIENCE.
Here is one way I help build my resilience when these inevitable ruptures happen.
I create soul collages, an expressive arts practice developed by Seena B. Frost, M.A., M.Div. in the 1980’s. It’s a deeply healing way to process emotions and experiences.
I made the image you see below a number of years ago to help me through a previous rupture, and it’s serving as a powerful talisman to help me through this one, too.
Here's what the image represents:
First…there’s the door. There is no way to know what is on the other side. What I DO know, is that I have to go through it. I chose a substantial, magnificent door to represent the significance of my transitions—to appreciate that they are IMPORTANT, and worthy of respect.
The door is surrounded by peacocks in full display. Their feather markings—reminiscent of eyes—remind us to stay awake, aware, and discerning.
The little plaque above the door has a deity sitting on a throne, reminding us that we are not alone, and—I like to think—that beneficent forces are always with us.
I choose to have this noble door portend something good and glorious!
Next, this image shows all the "tools" I have to be successful in facing this rupture and a new unknown.
First, in front of the door you see the rings of a tree. They represent all the years of experience and learning I have to draw on.
The beautiful beads represent the pearls of wisdom I have gathered, which are available to help.
The paintbrush represents my ability to co-create—to have a role in envisioning and fashioning my next chapter.
So this image, this talisman, is helping me temper my grief, tap into my resilience, and let time do its magic.
Perhaps, if you are facing a rupture in your life pattern, it can be an inspiration for you as well!
And, what is a talisman YOU could create to help tap YOUR resilience? It might be an image. It might be a piece of beautiful music. A poem. An object. A place on your body that you touch or hold. A beloved friend.
The goal is to have it powerfully remind you of your strength, wisdom, and courage to carry on. It should help you take heart! And affirm that you CAN meet your ruptures with radical grace.
If I can do this, so can you!
Yours on the journey,
Martha